The soothing, hot drops of water were falling on my back as I stood in the shower this morning. Then, without warning, this stream’s massaging power was reduced in half, leaving my vision on an ideal shower unfulfilled. I stood there, filled with frustration and indignation at this horrible inconvenience. I was well aware of the source of my discontent. Natasha, my wonderful wife, had decided to do dishes in the kitchen.

Normally, this dual usage of the water system would not be an issue, but our home has this slight water pressure problem. This is always frustrating particularly when you find yourself in the shower when it happens. I get very agitated and incensed at the insensitivity of the individual on the other end. How dare they interrupt my time of personal hygiene!

But today, I had to stop my frustration train in its tracks and take in a bit of perspective. Not only did the usage of water on the other end affect my output, but my usage of water affected the others output. In other words, not only did my shower suck, but Natasha was unable to do dishes as she desired. The actions of both us produce less than stellar results for both of us, since we share the same, limited source of water pressure.

Of course, this made me think about the mighty Rio Grande River. You’ve heard of it, right? The long body of water which forms the border between the US and Mexico. But, did you know that for a period of time each year, the Rio Grande actually runs out of water before it reaches the Gulf of Mexico, leaving a sandbar in its place? Why does this happen? Because dams, irrigation, and personal use upstream takes too much, so there is nothing left over by river’s end. Communities in eastern Mexico and Texas are forced to go without that water which they’ve depended on for hundreds of years. This is a sad example of our Independence Addiction.

Here in the USA we’re quite fond on independence, in fact you may say we’re obsessed with it. Each summer we schedule an entire day to celebrate the concept. Rugged American individualism is one of our most admirable qualities. Yet, independence is in reality a myth. It is a juxtaposition, defined only by its opposite; dependence. Thus, for us to depend on anything outside ourselves is considered weakness. For example, how often in the last month have you heard that phrase, “depend on foreign oil.” I would suggest that beyond the implications of gas prices, there is a critical philosophical statement being made about who we are. We are pill-popping independence addicts, and it’s killing us.

I would suggest that we enter treatment for this addition and turn, not to dependence, but to a healthy understanding of interdependence. Interdependence recognizes that we are all (humans, plants, animals, etc) connected, that we share the same water, air, land, culture, and more. It teaches us that our actions have influence on the ecosystem and network of relationships around us, as do the actions of others affect us. Perhaps the Dalai Lama says it best, “I believe that to meet the challenges of our times, human beings will have to develop a greater sense of universal responsibility. Each of us must learn to work not just for oneself, one’s own family or nation, but for the benefit of all humankind. Universal responsibility is the key to human survival. It is the best foundation for world peace.”

The Ecological Model of Psychology may help us begin to think in these terms. In the late 70’s, Urie Bronfenbrenner, used the image of the Russian nesting dolls to explain how individuals exist within a particular set of interactive contexts. He described multiple levels which surround the individual the Mesosystems of family, religious group, or organization to Macrosystems of nationalism, cultural values, and social conditions. This way of thinking places the individual properly within a series of interdependent relationships, treating them thus and not as isolated, independent individuals.

But, how do we break that down into our daily lives? We’ve been addicted to indepence for so long. I’d like to throw out three brief suggestions and would love to hear additional ideas from you. Personally, I find it helpful to increase my awareness of the world in which I am connected through spiritual practice, connecting my actions to their consequences, and recognizing the ancestry of my stuff.

Spiritual practice is always something which opens ones eyes up to the larger world. By engaging in prayer and meditation, I acknowledge that there is a reality bigger than Chris. I’ve found great joy in praying collect prayers from a variety of faith traditions. When I practice these words, I know that people all across the world are praying simultaneously. This reminds me that I am a part of a larger body of humanity, interconnected and moving together towards a common goal.

Independence addicts rarely consider the consequences of their actions, particularly not the seemingly insignificant ones. It’s easy to throw away a plastic bottle when you have completed your usage of it to convey liquids to your thirsty body. But, what happens when I throw that bottle in the garbage? It ends up in a landfill, breaks down into toxic chemicals, and litters our earth for several decades. When you think of it this way, you realize that your smallest action has great impact. I try to think as much as possible about the grand and long-term effects of what I do on my relationships, my community, and the environment, which gets me out of my utilitarian independence and, hopefully, helps me act in a way which produced positive results on the world.

Finally, we have a tendency to think that everything we have magically appears before us for our consumption. Wal-mart is the suppository of all this stuff, and we simply go there to buy whatever we need. But, do we ever stop to ask where that stuff came from and how it arrived in our plastic bags at such a bargain price. Not only do our actions have consequences, but the actions of others act upon us. Try this next time you eat a french fry. Draw your attention to the ground in which the potato grew, the rain and sunlight that fell upon it, the farm worker who tended and harvested it, the plant worker and truck driver who brought it to the store, and the people at the store who worked hard to stack it nicely on a shelf for your convenience. In this light, you can never just eat a french fry again, because everything has history, everything comes from somewhere, and everything we enjoy reminds us of how interdependent we are with the rest of our planet.

For us to survive the next century, we need a cure from our independence addiction. We must recognize that we are not isolated warriors, but interconnected family members. I hope we can learn to be interdependent, to help each each and to rely on each other. How have you seen this at work in your life? In your community? Share some thoughts. We’re all in this together.

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