Dreariness was carried in with the morning rain and stuck around in the humid interactions between us. Today is a day of change for our family. Natasha has started a new job, leaving me in charge of diapers, baby food, and trying not to trip over slices of wooden pear. The distress is written on the faces of Ester and Justice, and more than one tear was shed this morning. Even in my spirit, I find myself down and weary, and not just from watching two needy kids all day. Welcome to another change.

Change is a difficult thing to navigate for two-year-olds and thirty somethings alike. Our family has experienced our fair share of variance in the past few years, moving across the country, adding two children to our family, changing jobs, and more. But each time we change we’re presented with a set of unique challenges which must be overcome. The hardest thing about change is that it leads you to an uncertain future. Even if your present is not everything you’d hoped, the future is still unknown and to walk boldly into the dark can be terrifying and depressing. It’s almost always more comfortable to remain in the rut where you find yourself than bringing significant change to your life.

But, change must be embraced for any progress to be made. I wonder how many people get to this yucky-feeling point and quit there, afraid of what might come and unwilling to feel the uneasiness. In my experience, once you push through the difficult time, things do get better, and avoiding the change that needs to be made only seems to prolong your torture. How often do we retreat from the front lines of change when the pressure is on, only to settle back into old habits and the familiarity of mediocrity?

In an effort to preach to myself, and share some of my experience, I’ll give you a few ideas about navigating through change. First, I suggest you have a strong support system around you. Utilize your friends, family, and co-workers to walk with you each step of the way. Change in community is infinitely more complex, yet incredibly more supported than changing as an individual. Also, remember that change often brings stress to relationships. Be aware of this so you don’t shoot your support in the back when things get heated.

Second, you need to be realistic. No change makes everything better right away as the “grass is not always greener” and often the results of change take a great deal of time to be revealed. Set clear, but reasonable expectations for the change you plan and for the interim period while the change is being made. Finally, take small steps. Don’t try to do it all at once, but understand that change is a process. Big life changes involve a million logistics. You can’t simply solve them all in one setting. Make a little progress each day and realize that each step will help you get toward the big picture of which you’ve been dreaming.

Hopefully, these ideas may be of help to you. I feel better just reminding myself of these principles. If you’ve gone through a big change in your life, what helped you get through it? What did you find to be the biggest challenge? I’d love to hear your perspective.

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